i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
