she was so not down for the gang bang
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
