Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
