allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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