we're blogging at a bar
Im at strip club and am horny
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
