It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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