sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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