I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
