yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
