I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
