And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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