Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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