forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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