There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
