I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
