Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
