I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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