Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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