I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
