And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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