at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
