awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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