Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
