it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
