Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
