Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
