you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
