Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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