Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
