I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
