I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
