she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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