dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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