then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
