OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
