69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
false alarm. still invincible.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
