You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
