I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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