maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
