She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
