Your mouth is God's brothel.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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