yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
