so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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