just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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