Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
