Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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