shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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