so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
