I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
