I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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