I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize