Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
